Newsletter - Issue 18th March 2008Change Your Questions Change Your ResultsDear Subscriber, We know that if you change your thoughts/beliefs you change your behaviours; change your behaviours you change your results; change your results and you change your life. We all have times when we would like to change our life. We know that we can’t always choose what happens to us but we can choose how we react to what happens. Most of our reactions are caused through habit. We don’t think. We simply react. Consider the following scenario. You have an appointment that’s important to you. You leave your office or home early enough to make it in plenty of time and you are faced with the biggest traffic jam ever. You can’t get out of the traffic. Nowhere to turn. You know you are going to be late. What do you do? Do you sit in the traffic and fume. Do you blame an unknown person for running out of petrol or running into another vehicle? Do you curse the thoughtlessness of an unknown other driver who is blocking the traffic flow? Do you totally immobilize yourself in the moment or do you use the time productively. "It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves." Firstly as any self respecting person will do you call ahead and explain you are going to be late. Remember we respect ourselves by respecting others. The other person’s time is important and perhaps by calling ahead, you have allowed him or her just sufficient time to finish a project or even grab that needed cup of coffee. Then what do you do? You can use the time now available to catch up on phone calls (remember the traffic is at a standstill), you can make notes to yourself on an upcoming project, or you can look at a problem that has been nagging at you. This is unexpected time and you can use it productively. It can be seen as a bonus. Problems arise in all of our lives at some time. But I believe and I tell my clients that a problem is an opportunity for change. When you think of the problem think of the questions you have been asking yourself about it. Perhaps a work colleague has been giving you trouble. You ask yourself “what makes him think he can treat me this way?”; “why should we always do things her way?”; “what’s in it for me if I agree or don’t agree?” And that final question, what’s in it for me is at the bottom of most of the problems we encounter with others. Every human being in every situation asks the question ‘what’s in it for me?’ But suppose we asked ourselves the following questions. 1. What assumptions am I making? When we change our questions we can change the outcome. Remember that communication is about 20% telling and 80% asking. "With greater confidence in yourself and your abilities, you will set bigger goals, make bigger plans and commit yourself to achieving objectives that today you only dream about." Do you see how changing our questions can change the outcome and the results? Dr Marilee Adams is the founder and president of the Inquiry Institute and the originator of Question Thinking™. She teaches the Top Twelve Questions for Success™. 1. What do I want? So the next time you are mad at somebody or something, change the questions you ask yourself. Over time as you master this, your life will become easier. It will take time and a conscious effort, but it will be worth it. Trust me. 12 Questions Reprinted with permission of the publisher. From Change Your Questions Change Your Life, copyright© 2004 by Dr Marilee Adams. Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc., San Francisco, CA. All rights reserved. www.bkconnection.com Author's BioJudith Baxter Judith Baxter the Unstoppable Self Confidence Coach shows how to build your self confidence to turn every lead into a sale. To receive her F.R.E.E. Special Report, 5 Biggest Mistakes Women in Sales make and to receive her regular Newsletter visit www.daretodream.co.nz |
