The Most Dangerous Phrase in the English Language!

It is one of the quickest dream-killing phrases in the English language, it is a phrase that has been so ingrained in many of us since childhood that it is trots out of our mouth almost automatically and it is one of the quickest ways known to man-or woman kind to slam shut a gate the size of a house on our dreams.

“How could one phrase be so powerful?” I hear you ask. “And what is it?”

I was talking to a friend about summer holidays. “Where are you going this year?” I asked her. Without a moment’s hesitation, she said “I’d love a holiday BUT I’m not going anywhere this year. I...”. Guess what she said next...

Yes, that’s right, the dream destroyer phrase itself.

“I can’t afford a holiday, I’ve got no money”. End of conversation.

That one phrase killed the conversation, it shut off any possibility of her having a holiday and shut down any creativity she might have had.

Every time she repeats that phrase, (and she says it frequently- it is one of her favourites) and especially when she puts some intense feeling and real conviction to it (which she does) the Universe hears that as her request and sets about creating a situation of no money for her.

Unexpected bills turn up, things go wrong and a holiday is unlikely to materialise.

“OK,” I said to her, “I know you can’t afford a holiday (or you think you can’t) but if you could, just suppose for a moment it was possible, where would you go?”

Amidst much resistance, she told me, “Somewhere in Central France, with mountains, somewhere quiet and peaceful with nice food and plenty of wine.”

As she finished describing her ideal holiday, the next dream destroyer phrase tumbled out of her mouth, “BUT, there’s no way I can...”

Before she got too caught up in that I said to her. “Write at the top of your piece of paper, “How can I have a holiday in France this year?”

Her resistance kicked in big time and the next thing she said was the 3rd of this destructive trio “I don’t know”.

I was amazed at how genuinely stuck she seemed at this point, so I started her off with a few suggestions.

“Who do you know who has got a villa or a house in France that you could rent or you could stay there? Who do you know who has got a timeshare you could use? Who do you know who is a travel agent and could get you a cheap flight ad holiday deal? Who do you know who is French or has French family or who teaches language classes? Who do you know who sells timeshare and you could got to one of their presentations and get some free vouchers?”

For the first few ideas, she had an excuse why everyone would not work.

“Yes, I know someone with a timeshare, but it is in Spain or it is probably too late to exchange it, yes I know someone with a house but I don’t know when they are using it or if they rent it out, don’t know anybody who…”

Notice the pattern here. Every idea was followed by either “I can’t, but, I don’t know or that wouldn’t work for me because...”

Eventually she allowed herself to open up to the possibility that there could be a solution. As soon as she did, the most obvious solution for her hit her straight in the face, where she could possibly go for as little as... free or almost nothing.

Part of her current business discussions is with a company who offer holidays and travel as corporate incentives and she has already negotiated arrangements with them. Talk about missing the blindingly obvious.

The money for what you want to do may be sitting in your bank right now, however there are ways of attracting those funds or the people who can provide them.

“How can I afford it?”

Get rid of the phrases of “I can’t afford it” and replace it with “How can I afford it?” If you get the little negative voice telling you al the reasons why you can’t, tell it as politely as you can to “Go away” for now as it is not being very helpful.

Get your ideas on paper. You can analyse and edit them later.

Once you have got some ideas, the next important thing to do is to pick one and take immediate ACTION before the negative voice has time to come back and tell you why that one won’t work or why you can’t because of whatever reason.

Get rid of “BUT” and replace it with AND or something else. BUT negates everything you have just said.

“If you did know?…”

If you hear yourself saying, “I don’t know” turn it around and say to yourself, “I know you don’t know and if you did know, what might you do?”

Another hugely powerful phrase to add in here is “What else?” as that triggers off the next creative idea and keeps the flow going.

Language is a hugely powerful thing and just watching what we say to ourselves and others when we think of our goal can make a huge difference to whether we achieve it or not.

We have all had times in our lives when we have had to find money for something because it was really important. Most of then automatically used the “How can I approach?” and there was no room for doubt.

Language is probably one of the quickest ways to make changes because it can have an immediate effect on every aspect of your life. It can open you up to so many more possibilities.

Catch yourself before you say negative phrases and choose to use more empowering phrases to support you and your goals.

P.S. Believe in the impossible by Lewis Carroll (from Alice in Wonderland)

"I can't believe that!" said Alice.
"Can't you?" the queen said in a pitying tone. "Try again, draw a long breath, and shut your eyes."
Alice laughed. "There's no use trying," she said. "One can't believe impossible things."
"I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast”

Author's Bio

Amanda Goldston

Amanda Goldston is a Changing Lives Guide with over 16 years experience of using Tarot cards. She offers in depth readings and breakthrough coaching sessions to clear any blocks to success, which may have come up in the reading.

She now has a video based Learn Tarot Online members area to teach people how to read Tarot cards for fun, profit and personal growth. http://learntarotonline.com

WAKE UP! We are in a RECESSION

Although there is a popular belief that the impact of the credit crunch on Asia is milder than other parts of the world. I believe we should not be in denial of the difficult circumstance and possible later impact on Malayia’s economy.” said Tan Sri Rainer Althoff, Siemens Malaysia CEO.

And yet, we see that the Malaysian Government is so slow in the implementation of the first stimulus package of $7bil announced in November 2008 and is dragging their feet to approve another package of $10bil. But our past PM Dr Mahathir said that Malaysia needs more than this amount: $30bil to be exact.

There seen to be no priority to resolve this financial crisis at all. The Barisan National, the major party of the Malaysian government, is seen keen to wrest back the four states lost in the last election, March 8. The Pakatan Rakyat that formed the government in these four states (with one recently snatched by BN) does not seen to consolidate themselves well, and with more frog-jumping expected.

More by-elections mean nobody is paying a full attention on this serious global credit crunch that some expect it to be worse than the Great Depression. Maybe, these people were not born then to appreciate. Datuk Nasri Abdul Razak, a CEO of CIMB, had well expressed that Malaysia needs a strong leader. Everyone, no doubt, support that.

“Our International Trade and Industry Deputy Minister Datuk Liew Viu Keong said Malaysia’s total trade in 2008 was valued at RM1.185 trillion, an increase of 6.8% from 2007, surpassing the RM1 trillion mark for the third consecutive year.” Probably this value was due to the high prices of crude oil of US$147.00 and palm oil of RM4,200.00 in the same period.

“Malaysia’s exports contracted 14.9% to RM46.09bil in December last year compared with the same month in 2007. It was the weakest recorded for the year due to the contagion effect from the global financial crisis” he said. This, perhaps, is a beginning of the reality slowly sinking into our head.

Malaysia is not in recession and will not go into a recession, says Second Finance Minister Tan Sri Nor Mohamed Yakcob in Dubai. But if the crisis creates a recession in US and Europe, all countries will be affected. Nonetheless, the Government was keeping to its forecast of economic growth of 5.7% this year and 5.4% next year although forecast for next year might have to be re-examined. However, the financial landscape in Malaysia over the 3 months is on a fast-track mode. Most economists expect a lower GDP growth this year than 3.5% forecasted by the Government, which had realistically changed their mind, and MIER predicted only 1.3%.

“Our official GDP forecast is 3.5%. It is not a tradition for the Government to change the forecast on a daily or weekly basis. It is a dynamic situation and we have to keep watch but for now, there are no plans to change the official forecast,” Yakcop said. Yet, we are reminded to adhere to fair value accounting or repricing or mark-to-market pricing.

More confusing news reported daily.
“We believe capital adequacy ratios in the domestic banking system would remain healthy throughout 2009 as several banks have plans to raise either hybrid Tier-1 capital or subordinated debts to boost their risk weighted capital ratios (RWCRs),” said AmResearch deputy head of research Fiona Leong. Why?

Most banks have an average risks-weighted capital ratio of 12.6% and average Tier-1 capital of 10.30, and yet these banks are now geared-up to raise their capital. Is it because they expect their non-performing loans to increase? Dato Nasri, CIMB CEO expected his bank’s NPL will grow.

“We expect to see a sharp slowdown in loans growth towards the end of the first quarter (Q1) and into Q2 and any rise in NPL will result in a higher NPL ratio,” Pong, Jupiter Securities Sdn Bhd, said, adding that the decline in NPL ratio would come to a halt no later than the current quarter. Most banks will soon announce their annual reports. For the sake of the economy, we pray so.

“System net NPL ratios are still at a low of about 2.5%. Based on our sensitized additional provisions, the banking system’s net NPL ratio could inch up to 3.8%,” Hwangs-DBS Vickers Research said. Then, what’s about the NPL of the Islamic banks, for which most of them just recently started their operations. The figure of 2.5% is only an average in the banking industry, and not all the nine banks have the same figure. We cannot ignore the non-banking financial institutions like Bank Pembangunan, Agro Bank and SME Bank too.

According to Pong, Jupiter Securities Sdn Bhd, “a high rate of loans growth would help mitigate a rise in the NPL ratio, which is calculated as a percentage of total loans.” But the recent figures shown drops in the annual growth of loan applied of 18.8%, loan approved of 23.7%, albeit an increase in loan disbursed of 4.8% that has been declining in the past two months.

“Bank Negara cut its benchmark interest rate by a record 75 basis points and also reduced the statutory reserve requirement (SRR) in a move to lower borrowing costs. The central bank said it had reduced overnight policy rate (OPR) from 3.25% to 2.5% and reduced SRR from 3.5% to 2% effective Feb 1.” All these meant well for the country. The market is expected to be liquid, and most companies will able to stretch their hands to reach the arms of these banks in these trying days. This is an illusion, we hope not.

“Last year was a pretty good year for banks with strong loan growth but the economic downturn is starting to hit certain sectors such as manufacturers and exporters as well as consumers so NPLs are expected to trend upwards,” said Fiona Leong, AmResearch. So, everyone in Malaysia will be hit hard. Further the prices of crude oil felled to US$34.00 and CPO dropped to RM1,900.00.

Wake up, please! If we are not in a recession, then we are definitely affected by the recessions of our trading partners such as USA, Europe, India, China and Japan.

If our neighbours lose his job, that is recession, and when we lose our job, that will be depression.

Author's Bio

aGEE Lee

aGEE Lee is a training consultant who wish that every day is a prosperous day. He has more than 22 years of experience in the commercial banking in Malaysia and has worked in Malayan Banking Berhad and seconded to Kwong Yik Bank Berhad in 1980  to set up a Legal Documentation Department. He is now a training consultant for IBBM, MIA and Banks in Malaysia and Vietnam. Currently he has been giving talks on practical topics that will boost skills and confidence of participants.