Develop Excellent Attitude

“If you look for the positive things in life; you will find them.”

I recently heard that 76% of all we tell ourselves in a day is negative and that 84% of all we hear in a day is negative. That’s a lot of negative going into our minds. I have also heard that for every negative we tell ourselves or others, it takes nine positives to recover the damage.

Wouldn’t we be better off just putting more positive things into our minds? If we do that we can avoid the mind clutter of negative thoughts. And then live in perfect harmony – yeah!

It’s easier said than done. I know how hard it is to change my thoughts and to focus on being positive. My kids often tell me that I can’t be crabby because I am a motivational speaker. Maybe they are right but I'm still a human being and we can all get crabby. Life is tough and it can be full of negatives at times. Kids get sick, people quit, bosses are crabby and finances are tight. It’s easy to get crabby and feel negative. Yet we have a choice – we can choose to be positive.

21 Ways to Be Positive!

Smile. A smile is a simple but powerful tool. It automatically makes us feel better and touches the people around us. Are you smiling now?

Have positive reminders. Fill your mind and home with positive reminders and motivational products. Choose to surround yourself with things that remind you to be positive.

Talk nice. Remove destructive language, negative talk, swearing or complaining. These things rob our joy in life. Speak positively or do not talk at all.

Pay for your bad words. We pay our vacation jar $5 for every swear word someone says. Family members hold one another accountable. Find some way to hold yourself accountable for destructive language.

Give me three now! For every negative thing you say about yourself, you must say three positives out loud.

Stop gossip. Let others be who they are. Concentrate on only speaking positively about other people.

Be honest. When we tell the truth we never have to remember what we said to whom. Honesty may be hard in the moment, but you will definitely sleep better at night.
There is nothing wrong. Stop telling yourself something is wrong. There is nothing wrong with your life. When we live in the moment and accept what is, we stop creating the idea that something is always wrong. Live life accepting what is.

Notice life. By noticing your thoughts without judgments attached, you are free to just experience life. We do not have to fix or change everything – sometimes we just need to notice.

Enjoy the journey. Life is not a race – we don’t have to get there today. In fact, there is no “there.” Our job is to simply enjoy the process.

Don’t engage in negative conversation. It’s okay to just walk away without correcting or explaining. Just simply excuse yourself.
Pay attention to your positive thoughts. What are they saying? What do they tell you about yourself?

Choose positive people. Surround yourself with people who build you up. Get rid of the “wet blankets” in your life.

Put on your attitude. Choose which attitude to wear prior to getting dressed in the morning. Sometimes having a good day starts by telling yourself that you will have a good day.

You have permission. Give yourself permission to be positive and enjoy life. Being positive is much more fun than complaining all the time.

Plan ahead. Practice and plan what you will say ahead of time when others engage in negativity. Knowing what to say before hand will help you say what you need to say and to stay true to being positive.

Leave on a happy note. End phone calls, e-mails and letters with a positive message. Always leave meetings on an upbeat note. This keeps you from dwelling on the negatives.

Choose carefully. Be selective with your words. Once we speak word, we can not take them back. Speak less and listen more.

Practice. Try saying positive things to strangers. Try out being positive with people you’ll never see again. Try new phrases and take the opportunity to speak positively with each new person you meet.

Study positive people. Watch how they interact with the world. Interview them when possible. Look for ways you can incorporate their techniques into your life.

Down days will come. Realize you will have down days. Plan for them and practice good self-care on days that you feel down. Then remind yourself that life will swing back and you’ll be up again.

Author's Bio

Michelle Neujahr

Michelle Neujahr provides motivational keynotes, in-house training seminars and small business consulting services to organizations ready to take their business to the next level. With more than a decade of experience as a motivational speaker, Michelle has given over 1,000 presentations to audiences across the country. For more information, please visit http://developingexcellence.blogspot.com

Changing Me to Change Them

"We must be the change we wish to see in this world."
— Mahatma Gandhi, Indian nationalist and spiritual leader who developed the practice of nonviolent disobedience that forced Great Britain to grant independence to India in 1947

I can think of all kinds of ways to change our kids, my associates, my wife Heather, and lots of other people in my life. But that's not the place to start. The place to start is with changing me. The Nobel Prize winning physicist, Albert Einstein, observed that we can't solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it. The same principle applies to influencing and leading people around us. I can't influence others to change what they're doing with the same behavior that contributed to their current behavior.

The longer I've been with others who I'd like to improve or change, the more this applies to me. Something I've been doing, or failing to do, has contributed to their current behavior patterns. If I am going to shift their behavior to a new level, I will need to change my behavior. To change them, I need to change me. As the 18th century French writer, Francois Fenelon, put it, "We can often do more for others by correcting our own faults than by trying to correct theirs."

This key leadership principle is useless if we think that we can control others. It's especially easy to believe this if I am the boss, parent, owner, teacher, coach, project leader, director, or in some similar position of authority. I will always be stuck at the superficial level of "doing my leadership thing" as long as I try controlling others through position power. I am ready to move to the deeper levels of leadership being (and greater effectiveness) when I give up trying to control. I can then shift my focus to influencing and guiding others by what I do, as well as by what I say.

To create something we must be something. For example, becoming a parent is easy; being one is tough. We can't teach our kids self-discipline unless we are self-disciplined. We can't help build strong organizational teams unless we're a strong team player. We can't help develop a close community if we're not a good neighbor. We can't enjoy a happy marriage if we're not a loving partner. We won't have a supportive network of friends or colleagues until we're a supportive friend or collaborative colleague.

In The Heart Aroused: Poetry and Preservation of the Soul in Corporate America, David Whyte writes, "All things change when we do." Writer Gautama Chopra elaborates, "By changing our beliefs, our perceptions, we cause our experience to change, and in this way we change the world around us. There is no true boundary or limit to the self; there is no separation from the world that encircles us. When we master the forces within, we influence the forces without."

In The CLEMMER Group's leadership development work we use a simple exercise to help participants connect the changes they'd like to see, to the changes they need to make in their own behavior. Draw a line down the middle of a page. Title the left column "Changes I'd Like Them to Make." List the four or five biggest changes you'd like to see in others.

OK, that's the easy part. Now title the right column "Ways I Can Exemplify These Changes." Brainstorm ways you can influence "them" with your personal behavior. This is the hard part. It means I must face up to what I have or haven't been doing to influence their behavior.

It's much easier to be a victim — to blame all their behavior on them and refuse to accept any responsibility at all. But how honest and true is that — really? I may need more feedback from them to clearly see my role in their behavior. I likely need to reflect further and deeper on our relationship. Is my Influence Index weak? The big (and often painful) leadership question is; what do I need to change about me to help change them? Instead of just wishing for a change of circumstance, I may need a change of character.

Follow Me: Leading By Example

"We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done."
— Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, American writer and poet

Most of us put leading by example high on the list of key leadership characteristics. We use phrases like "walking the talk" or "connecting the video with the audio" to express this core leadership concept. That's authenticity.

We recognize real leadership when we see it in others. What we often don't recognize is our own behavior reflected back to us. For example, children act like their parents despite all attempts to get them to love learning. Teams act like their leaders, despite attempts to train them otherwise. Customers yawn about the indifference of our service despite all the catchy slogans and advertising. Family members feel unappreciated despite (unexpressed) feelings about how much they mean to us. Conflict creates tension and misunderstanding despite realizations that issues should be confronted more effectively.

Good intentions are useless if they stop there. Unless we act on them, they're nothing more than warm, fuzzy thoughts in our own heads. When it comes to leadership, the messenger must be the message. That well-known biblical story of the Good Samaritan would have no meaning if all he did was look with sympathy at the badly wounded traveler lying by the road. He acted on his compassion and made a difference. One of the biggest differences between most people and authentic leaders is action. Real leaders make it happen.

Author's Bio

Jim Clemmer

Jim Clemmer’s practical leadership books, keynote presentations, workshops, and team retreats have helped hundreds of thousands of people worldwide improve personal, team, and organizational leadership. Visit his web site, http://jimclemmer.com/, for a huge selection of free practical resources including nearly 300 articles, dozens of video clips, team assessments, leadership newsletter, Improvement Points service, and popular leadership blog. Jim's five international bestselling books include The VIP Strategy, Firing on All Cylinders, Pathways to Performance, Growing the Distance, and The Leader's Digest. His latest book is Moose on the Table: A Novel Approach to Communications @ Work.